We all enter into relationships hoping it will last forever. Some relationships make it to the happy ever after while others do not. Break ups impact differently on people’s lives. The extend to which varies on the investment into the relationship. Investments can be in terms of finances, time, emotional connections and feelings. The events leading to the termination of the relationship also play a big role. The manner in which it happens and the timing are the crucial aspects. For instance, breaking up suddenly shortly before marriage will affect one more than a break up after having issues for a while with no serious life plans together.
It is therefore safer to cushion your heart early enough for such unforeseen occurrences. Should you be caught unaware, am going to share with you tips on how to get over your ex. A bond usually forms between lovers during dating that might take a while to break after break up. Putting in mind that circumstances for each break up are different, select those that best applies to you and put them into practice.
1. Allow yourself to mourn the loss
A break up just like any other loss requires grieving. Let yourself undergo the five stages of grieve. These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. After you are done with the mourning, you will feel rejuvenated and ready to move on. Do not shut out any of the stages listed before. Cry out if you have to. It is okay to want to win them back, but just let them go. It is acceptable to feel depressed. Just make sure you do not get stuck on one stage. Successfully move on step by step to the last stage of acceptance and recover.
2. Avoid them
You cannot get over someone who is still all over you. Avoiding them will allow your heart to heal. Being in direct contact with them is a constant reminder of the break up and a limiting factor to healing. This might be difficult if you work with your ex or live nearby. The best you can do is try to minimize contact between you two the much you can. Do not talk to them unless it is absolutely necessary. Ignore their texts, phone calls or social media communications if you have to. If the worse comes to the worst block them. However, if they are relentless, file a restraining order.
3. Work on the cause of the break up
We all play a role in a break up no matter the circumstance. I know this is the worst thing you want to hear right now but it is true. You might argue that what if i caught him/her red handed cheating on me, what wrong have i done? The case remains the same, if you keep your lover well they have no reason to cheat. Do a thorough self-evaluation of yourself and discover where things went wrong.
It might be because of your attitude, appearance or behavior. If you are keen enough you might have noticed some red flags before the break up. Your lover might have complained on certain things that you took for granted or ignored. Identify your weaknesses and causes of the break up. This will help you make yourself a better person to avoid another break up should you enter into another relationship. It also helps you to come into reality with what happened and heal from it.
4. Hang out with friends
Allow yourself sometime to mourn then go out to hang out with friends. Being alone for long will prolong the depression. Step out and have fun. Go party if it’s your thing, go for church functions if you are the type, do charity events etc. Be around people who care about your happiness and enjoy their company. Do not force yourself on a date while you are yet to heal. You are still vulnerable. Just have fun with people without bringing in emotions as your emotional state is already compromised.
5. Have adequate sleep and rest
Your body is in a straining condition. The mind is not settled and your heart is wounded. Adequate sleep and rest will go a long way to help you heal. This is an easy way to get the peace of mind. Go to bed early and get enough sleep. If you having issues with sleeping, you can have your doctor prescribe a sleeping pill for you. You only need this if you are severely missing sleep and should stop once you are able to sleep well unaided.
6. Do things you really love
Here is where your passion and hobby comes in. Release yourself from the chains of stress and do what you love. If you are a painter, player, teacher, writer, hiker etc. do it like you will never do it again. Those who love their profession or work, it is time to put in all your efforts. You can also listen to music, watch your favorite movies, cartoons, animations, television series, football or anything else you so desire.
7. Seek help
A problem shared is half solved. Sometimes the journey to self-recovery is not an easy one. If you feel incapable to do it yourself, seek help. Talk to family, relative, friend, religious leader or counselor. Let someone hold your hand and walk with you through this tough time. You definitely need a shoulder to lean on. It is very okay to seek help. Do not be afraid. Just approach a neutral person, someone who is non-judgmental.