Introduction of your boyfriend to your child is a make or break moment. Once you meet a new boyfriend, a tough task awaits you; to introduce him to your kid. Even with that, you are not sure if he will like your kid and vice versa. The way you express yourself and carry out the whole process matters a lot. You need to get it right from the beginning. You also have to adequately prepare both parties earlier. Here are tips on how to carry out a proper and successful introduction.
1. Have a conversation about it first
This is one occasion where surprises do not go so well. You need to prior inform your man about your child and the planned introduction. More so, do not just introduce your child to every man who comes into your life. Ensure you have a serious guy who is ready and willing to spend the rest of life with you. A man who knows you have a kid(s) and is okay with it. If you keep introducing your kid to every Tom, Steve, Ken and Mike, he/she will develop an attitude and may end up disliking the ultimate man you get. It is also good to talk to him about it and see if he is willing and ready to come into the life of your child.
2. Keep the venue fun, neutral and preferably outdoors
Kids will respond to strangers depending on the prevailing condition. Get to know what your kid loves most and use it to your advantage. He has to meet him/her when he/she is in the best mood ever. With that, the child will be less judgmental. The integration process has to start from the happy union. Taking your child to his place for introduction is a bad idea. The child will be struggling with unfamiliar environment plus a strange man. The probability that the child will cooperate and like him is almost zero. Simply take your child to a usual fun outdoor place and let your new guy meet you there.
3. Go Slowly
You have to keep your excitement under control. I know the introduction is a big deal to you but you must tone things down. When you rush you will only screw things up. Remember, you might be in love, but your child needs time to get used to a new situation. Follow their cues. If you sense your child is having issues, talk to him/her. Slow down if you have to. I can assure you it is better to go slow and get it right than rush and mess things up.
4. Manage your expectations
Never be over ambitious. This is a casual event. You can’t force anybody to like anyone. Particularly kids cannot be forced to like someone. The new guy with your help have to make the child like him. Telling your child that he/she has to be nice or like someone is a sure way to ruin the introduction. Let everyone meet and form their own opinions. Just keep it as natural as possible and support both parties adequately.
5. Introduce him in stages
When you have agreed it is time, start with simple casual meetings. As I earlier said, begin with a fun and familiar outdoor place. Introduce him just as a friend at first. Let the first meeting be brief. Do not last more than one hour. The first impression is the key and thus it has to be short but memorable. They have to part on a high notch to stimulate desire to meet again. You can start to prolong the stay from the second and third meetings. When the two are used to each other and getting along well, it’s time to make the proper introduction. However, do not wait for too long. If the child gets so used to him as your friend, he/she might reject him as a father.
6. Help your partner bond with your child
As a mother, you too well know what your child loves and what they desire most. There is no harm in telling your guy such secrets so that he can easily bond with your child. Such introductions are very difficult especially to guys with no kids thus he needs all the help he can get. Your primary objective is to unite them into a family and thus must create an enabling environment. Never tell a guy to try on his own to make your kid like him. Furthermore, forcing your suitors to love your kid before you love them is ill informed. That is like using your child as bait and men hate it.