5 Top secrets of a successful relationship or marriage

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For every successful and admirable relationship or marriage, there is a secret recipe. Relationships have to be well molded by the two potters. Commitment to the course and shared expected outcomes are the driving forces that ensure all goes well. There is also a need to constantly evaluate the state of the relationship or marriage and take appropriate action. If you want your relationship to stand out, you have to go an extra mile. You keep doing what you have been doing in other relationships then you end up with similar results; break ups. The following are the secret pillars behind fruitful couples.

1. Be in-charge of your own Happiness

True happiness is intrinsic and you are the sole key bearer. Do not look at your spouse to make you happy. No one can actually make you happy unless you are willing and able yourself. Your lover can take you shopping, meet your bills, buy you cars, houses, take you on vacation but that is not a free pass to happiness. There are actually relationships out there without any of such treatments but the couple is very happy and contented. Happiness lies within the individual and expecting a spouse to change that forever is unrealistic and unfair.


2. Manage your expectations

You should neither keep your expectations too low nor too high. To make your relationship sustainable, be flexible to the changing times. Raise your expectations when need be and lower when necessary. If your lover is broke, understand but if they are loaded with cash, ask for whatever you so desires. Never set your standards so high that you chase him/her away and not too low that you look cheap. The first step of a relationship is to understand your spouse and learn to accommodate them in changing circumstances.

3. Always communicate

Communication is a must have recipe of any relationship or marriage. The more you communicate, the more you make your bond stronger. It is the way to get to know more about each other and a way to solve issues. Whenever you pile problems, the affection reduces. The more you talk openly about them, the easier you get them out of your chest. This is not only limited to verbal communication but also emotional connection and share of feelings. It is always hard to initiate communication when under crises but a simple ‘am sorry’ text can work wonders. What I can advise you  is that when one goes high, the other should remain low to create a neutral ground. You will never reach any agreement if you are all angry and aggressive.


4. Don’t give up

Never be fooled with the greener pasture you see elsewhere. I always say grass looks greener where you water it most. Instead of running away from your relationship, stay and make it how you want it to be. During tough times, it is okay to lose hope but do not quit.  Most of the relationships you envy out there have more serious problems than yours. Tough times serve to strengthen our bond and not to separate us. If you are in a relationship or marriage, make up your mind and decide that you are there to stay. Therefore, you can go ahead and invest in it to make it the best you can ever have. However, if your spouse is abusive and violent, make an independent choice to stay or leave. Your safety comes first and thus you deserve someone who assures of that.

5. Be adventurous

Relationships and marriages begin on a high note but lose the steam along the way. That is where people start regretting their choices or begin to cheat. The love flames that were there from the start can still be maintained through adventure. When you get used to each other so much, sometimes it brings boredom. You have to introduce new routines. Try out different things that will be fun to you both. Even when making love, sticking to one style is boring, explore other positions. You can also change places of making love from the bed to the carpet, in the kitchen, bathroom, in the car or on the sofa. Going for picnics, dates, vacation, nature walks are some of the adventures you really need.


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